This applies, both body and soul.
We all have wounds
See how I pick mine?
That fueling obsession to
Open and close
Open and close
Making scars
To prove wounded
-Happy Blogger
Episode 2 - A Bucket of Beeps
11 years ago
Brain Stew
I think I have a love/hate relationship with motivational speaker type characters. I can't tell if it depends on what kind of day I'm having; whether I'm being skeptical, stubborn, or willingly more emotional? I also can't tell if I'm too comfortable and confident in my own thoughts that I neglect hearing what others have to say, or if I'm just far ahead of the game with emotional development?
I recently had to sit through a painful 3 hours of a motivational speaker type- and yes it was painful. Sitting there for 3 hours when I had my muscles going wild in my legs, and I was expected to sit still was an awful challenge for me. Sure, This guy had a lot of great points, and sure he was a rather convincing guy, I just personally didn't get too much from the experience. When talking to others, I can appreciate how other people took a lot from the presentation.
The main focus of discussion was bullying. Personally, I never felt like I was bullied, mind you, I was always a decently tough kid and I didn't put up with anyone's crap. It's the same now a days- sure there are people who are going to try to make you feel small, whether it's your boss, a co-worker, that rude customer who thinks your incompetent, your sisters, your parents, your friends... but I guess I still don't put up with it. Like I said- I'm still trying to determine whether I'm emotionally mature or a stubborn skeptic.
I think the biggest thing that bothered me about his speech was that he stated that he refuses to let his own daughters have best friends, that he doesn't believe in best friends. I think he tried to implied that their kids shouldn't be able to have another person that they tell absolutely everything too, because one day it will nip you in the butt. He asked people to raise their hands if they have ever said something to a friend that comes back and bites them in the butt. I was honestly surprised that a lot of people had raised their hand for it. I can't quite tell if it's what I'm putting out, or the people I chose to befriend, but I have never once experienced that, nor do I ever anticipate that I will, of course only time will tell.
The thing that bothered me most to that was that if people shut themselves off to the opportunity of creating an amazing bond with another person, where they can fully trust the other person, I think they are missing out completely. I was recently talking to a good friend of mine who said he refused to make best friends growing up, because there was such a stigma around the idea of "best friends". I believe that if you treat your friendships in the right way, that you can have best friends, along with other good friends and it doesn't have to be a competition, which I think is what people are afraid of. Either way, coming from my experience, I think having people you can consider best friends in your life is an extremely important aspect to learn more about yourself, how to trust another person completely, and to have someone to talk to when you need it. I am fortunate to have a lot of wonderful people who I can trust, and who can trust me back. And to me, it really bothered me when this guy was preaching against best friends.
He also went on an obnoxiously long rant about suicide. This is probably another one of those situations where I'm more or less insensitive, most likely as a internal defense mechanism. Yes, I appreciate that a lot of people were not as well educated about suicide, and people suffering with depression, so for those people, I'm glad that they now know. I think I drew strange parallels in high school, because I am now more aware of depression and that regardless of people's daily circumstances, if you are fighting depression, sometimes you can't help but consider the alternatives. Before, I honestly resented people who attempted/contemplated suicide. Mind you, I was 16 years old, and I had an overlap of someone who (I thought) was selfishly trying to take their life, and a friend who fought every day for their life. So that was how I felt, and even now, when I understand more about the ins and outs of depression, I still can't help but to be in funk whenever people talk about suicide.
Yes, my opinions are ever shaping, so I probably contradict myself all the time.
No, I don't know everything about everything, but I do admit that I often feel more emotionally assured of myself, whether I have accepted whether I'm incredibly stubborn about certain things, or not.
Unfortunately, my brain stew is far to disheveled for even myself to organize.
So please, pity my effort.
-Happy Blogger
Nimbus
I'm calling this one Nimbus due to its inspiration from the Cloud Atlas Sextet. It's a little rough in the transition, but I actually tried to include a transition this time so I'm giving myself credit either way. Yay me. The climax also just sort of ends because I forgot how much extra time I had given myself. You can hear quite obviously where I forced myself to trail off and attempt a recovery. Hey maybe I'll actually write something on this site one of these days!
Probably not,
-Sad Blogger
Probably not,
-Sad Blogger
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