Heeeeeeeeeey looky here! I'm actually writing something again. Actually, since my last post I've written several short stories, finished half a novel and generally acted like I had something better to do. But I'm coming back to my roots (blech) and revealing to nobody in particular the latest idea-thorn that's been stuck in my brain-paw. That idea is how much I despise shitty people.
See, the problem with shitty people is that when you tell them they're being shitty, they act all shitty about it. People are so incapable of taking constructive criticism graciously. I mean you can't even call it criticism. It's advice...life lessons. If I was being a total cocksucker—whether in public or just in a private conversation—I would want to be informed. You know, I'd like to know that I should shut the fuck up because I'm embarrassing myself. AND ALSO know how to behave next time. I like when people tell me what the boundaries are so that I know they're not secretly loathing me and so that I'm not walking around with a THIS GUY'S AN ASSHOLE sign flashing above my head with a big arrow and those fancypants old fashioned bulbs all blinky-blinking. I can only assume other people would be adverse to this as well.
But they're not, maaaahhhnnnnn. Obviously, this issue runs deep in teenagers and younger adults. High school revolves around kids calling each other out on their bullshit and going off like armpit-scented nukes. But I'm referring to grown-ass adults, men and women who should have learned from that high school shit and come out the other side with some tact and graciousness. Because let's face it: most people are cunts and they need to be told they're being cunts so that they stop being cunts and don't grow up and die having never learned to be decent human beings.
Typically, however, telling a person that they're being shitty results in a defensive carpet-bombing of your own character. Don't worry, though. Assuming you're self-aware enough to be calling another person out on their shit, the hateful dreck they'll spew at you will be some petty garbage that you've already owned and accepted. See, that's the problem with these people. That's where the emotional response comes from. You just want to help them overcome their ignorance and reactive bullshit, but they're unable to. And that's the point that I've been hopelessly struggling towards. Like imagine my point is a mouse with above average intelligence and I'm a cat with two broken legs and a missing eye. Maybe I'm even wearing some torn up old clothes like kids in foreign movies about the drug trade. Just for emphasis.
Nope, I don't know how to segue from my ramshackle introductions into my aimless, meandering main points. What you see is what you get.
Shitty people are the way they are because they believe in feelings. Feelings are the mind's way of bypassing the effort it takes to think through complicated problems. Reasonable people are able to face their problems and logic their way through them, but most people just see their issues as impossible math equations for which they haven't been given the formula sheet. That's why they invented things like meditation and therapists..they're basically calculators (if we're sticking to the math analogy) for the unreasonable. I'm not saying that feelings can't be legitimate in some situations...the last time I brought this up at a dinner, somebody cornered me with goosebumps:
"Haven't you ever listened to a song that just immediately gave you goosebumps?"
Of course I have. I think most people have. And I have to admit that at the time, I hadn't thought through my hypothesis thoroughly and was forced to stick my foot in my mouth. But if you think about it for just a second, even without a full understanding of how all the science works, music is just sound waves bouncing off some sensor in your brain and sending an electric charge to whatever part of your body it is that makes goosebumps. Obviously your senses are real. The ability to feel cold or feel a blanket. Even feeling happy is a response to chemicals in your brain. But when someone says something like, "You know, that really hurt my feelings", they're being unreasonable.
Your feelings can't be hurt because you dreamed them up inside your head. They're imaginary. Saying, "You hurt my feelings" is basically just saying, "I refuse to deal with the truth about myself so I'm going to react emotionally instead of sorting through my issues and becoming a better person."
Alright maybe the part about becoming a better person is a bit of an exaggeration, but I think if people were more self-aware, they actually would be better people. I, personally, am overweight and a bit of a manchild. I'm not obese and I'm not hopeless, but I am honest with myself and accept the fact that I'm about 30 pounds heavier than I should be, and about three years behind in my progress as a human being. That being said, if anyone were to call me a fatty or make some crack about being a loser living in his mom's basement, they wouldn't be completely accurate, but I would have zero right to object. Neither does anyone else. If you attempt, out of the kindness of your heart, to correct a shitty person on their behavior, they have no business acting offended. They need only look at their actions, compare them to the social conventions we've all agreed upon, and acknowledge their indiscretion.
Some people have told me that this attitude is a cop out. I'm not sure exactly what that means, but it seemed like a professional way to lead into a new paragraph. I don't think that it's a cop out of anything, though. Being realistic about what feelings really are allows me to avoid any responsibility for people's reactions to how I speak to them and prevents me from reacting unreasonably to however people speak to me. I'm generally less stressed because I'm not constantly stewing over how I feel, I have excellent self esteem (perhaps unhealthily so), I'm able to think clearly about major decisions in my life, and I have more time for other people because I'm not wrapped up in myself.
I'm tired of ragging on so I'm going to just end this here. I'd make some half-promise to possible come back and fully flesh out whatever point I was trying to make in the future, but let's be realistic...I've never actually concluded anything I've posted here.
Ta-ta,
Sad Blogger
See, the problem with shitty people is that when you tell them they're being shitty, they act all shitty about it. People are so incapable of taking constructive criticism graciously. I mean you can't even call it criticism. It's advice...life lessons. If I was being a total cocksucker—whether in public or just in a private conversation—I would want to be informed. You know, I'd like to know that I should shut the fuck up because I'm embarrassing myself. AND ALSO know how to behave next time. I like when people tell me what the boundaries are so that I know they're not secretly loathing me and so that I'm not walking around with a THIS GUY'S AN ASSHOLE sign flashing above my head with a big arrow and those fancypants old fashioned bulbs all blinky-blinking. I can only assume other people would be adverse to this as well.
But they're not, maaaahhhnnnnn. Obviously, this issue runs deep in teenagers and younger adults. High school revolves around kids calling each other out on their bullshit and going off like armpit-scented nukes. But I'm referring to grown-ass adults, men and women who should have learned from that high school shit and come out the other side with some tact and graciousness. Because let's face it: most people are cunts and they need to be told they're being cunts so that they stop being cunts and don't grow up and die having never learned to be decent human beings.
Typically, however, telling a person that they're being shitty results in a defensive carpet-bombing of your own character. Don't worry, though. Assuming you're self-aware enough to be calling another person out on their shit, the hateful dreck they'll spew at you will be some petty garbage that you've already owned and accepted. See, that's the problem with these people. That's where the emotional response comes from. You just want to help them overcome their ignorance and reactive bullshit, but they're unable to. And that's the point that I've been hopelessly struggling towards. Like imagine my point is a mouse with above average intelligence and I'm a cat with two broken legs and a missing eye. Maybe I'm even wearing some torn up old clothes like kids in foreign movies about the drug trade. Just for emphasis.
The Point:
Nope, I don't know how to segue from my ramshackle introductions into my aimless, meandering main points. What you see is what you get.
Shitty people are the way they are because they believe in feelings. Feelings are the mind's way of bypassing the effort it takes to think through complicated problems. Reasonable people are able to face their problems and logic their way through them, but most people just see their issues as impossible math equations for which they haven't been given the formula sheet. That's why they invented things like meditation and therapists..they're basically calculators (if we're sticking to the math analogy) for the unreasonable. I'm not saying that feelings can't be legitimate in some situations...the last time I brought this up at a dinner, somebody cornered me with goosebumps:
"Haven't you ever listened to a song that just immediately gave you goosebumps?"
Of course I have. I think most people have. And I have to admit that at the time, I hadn't thought through my hypothesis thoroughly and was forced to stick my foot in my mouth. But if you think about it for just a second, even without a full understanding of how all the science works, music is just sound waves bouncing off some sensor in your brain and sending an electric charge to whatever part of your body it is that makes goosebumps. Obviously your senses are real. The ability to feel cold or feel a blanket. Even feeling happy is a response to chemicals in your brain. But when someone says something like, "You know, that really hurt my feelings", they're being unreasonable.
Your feelings can't be hurt because you dreamed them up inside your head. They're imaginary. Saying, "You hurt my feelings" is basically just saying, "I refuse to deal with the truth about myself so I'm going to react emotionally instead of sorting through my issues and becoming a better person."
Alright maybe the part about becoming a better person is a bit of an exaggeration, but I think if people were more self-aware, they actually would be better people. I, personally, am overweight and a bit of a manchild. I'm not obese and I'm not hopeless, but I am honest with myself and accept the fact that I'm about 30 pounds heavier than I should be, and about three years behind in my progress as a human being. That being said, if anyone were to call me a fatty or make some crack about being a loser living in his mom's basement, they wouldn't be completely accurate, but I would have zero right to object. Neither does anyone else. If you attempt, out of the kindness of your heart, to correct a shitty person on their behavior, they have no business acting offended. They need only look at their actions, compare them to the social conventions we've all agreed upon, and acknowledge their indiscretion.
Some people have told me that this attitude is a cop out. I'm not sure exactly what that means, but it seemed like a professional way to lead into a new paragraph. I don't think that it's a cop out of anything, though. Being realistic about what feelings really are allows me to avoid any responsibility for people's reactions to how I speak to them and prevents me from reacting unreasonably to however people speak to me. I'm generally less stressed because I'm not constantly stewing over how I feel, I have excellent self esteem (perhaps unhealthily so), I'm able to think clearly about major decisions in my life, and I have more time for other people because I'm not wrapped up in myself.
I'm tired of ragging on so I'm going to just end this here. I'd make some half-promise to possible come back and fully flesh out whatever point I was trying to make in the future, but let's be realistic...I've never actually concluded anything I've posted here.
Ta-ta,
Sad Blogger
