Teen Arrogance Posted by Happy Blogger , 21.3.11 at Monday, March 21, 2011, in

I was reminded today of one reason in particular why I hate high school students applying for universities/colleges.

Yes, I realize that whilst applying, everyone wants to make themselves look like a well rounded student that all the universities are looking for. Good marks, out of school activities, volunteering, etc.

It makes me sick to my stomach when kids looking to apply for universities go and volunteer the year before they head off to university to spice up their resume. Doesn't it defeat the purpose if you are volunteering with the intention of making yourselves looking better as opposed to actually volunteering to actually be a good decent person?

I'm sorry, but a good friend of mine is currently volunteering at LinkAges, with the intention of looking good when applying to universities. I realize that I'm a little biased, because I have been volunteering at a program at my church since I was 5, and didn't really have a choice. I still help when I can, not so that I can add it as the cherry on top of my resume, but because it's part of my upbringing, and it feels natural that I help when I can. I feel like I'm not alone when I say that when people volunteer, it not only helps the people they are volunteering for, but it hits a soft spot in their heart, and it is helping them in a deeper way.

Other wise, if you go, talk with an elder, and you leave unphased about what genuine service you are providing, I think you should be smacked. Any kinds of what ever you are doing. Don't be selfish for the love of God, because I think volunteering to make your self look better to universities is the most arrogant, self centered thing you could do.

So people out there, and I know who are you, don't be arrogant sons of bitches. Don't just pretend to care about these people, If you aren't sincere, go to a cabin in an isolated forest, sit there for 10 days, look into your soul and manage to find some some human compassion, and then you can help.

Yes, it is okay to be a little selfless sometimes.

-Happy Blogger

Nice use of "Title"! Posted by Sad Blogger , 14.3.11 at Monday, March 14, 2011, in

I would appreciate it if people would quit rewarding each other—and especially me—for insignificant displays of taste and/or intelligence. Let's say, for example, that I pull a word out of my vocabulary that you've heard less than five times in regular conversation as long as you've been aware of the word. You quite like the word and you wish you were smooth enough to spring the word on people as casually as I just did. Let's say that the word is "minutia". Not a particularly impressive word, but it's always tickled your fancy and gosh darn you wish you could whip it out on your friends like antacids at a Superbowl party.

So, enamored with my cunning linguistics as you are, you take it upon yourself to toss me a little doggy treat for so obviously going out of my way to be impressive (let me note here that it's actually -not- impressive at all). Yes, for gracing the world with that lexical delicacy, you congratulate me with a quaint-yet-enthusiastic, "Nice use of 'minutia'!"

To which, I must admit I mentally reply, "Nice use of stupid!"

I honestly don't require your validation, thank you. I actually have an unnecessarily strong sense of self esteem. In fact, I would personally argue that if my ego were stroked any more than I already stroke it, it would ejaculate.

A similar trend I've noticed is the awarding of points when somebody expresses an interest in a movie or a book or a band or a model of car or a brand of shoe or a specific flight number that leaves for Laos on April 23rd. Since the last example was so much fun, I'll indulge you with another. Let's say this time that we were carrying on pleasantly about the ever-broadening universe of popular music. Let's also say I mentioned this rad new album I just downloaded and you realize you're -totally- a fan of that band! So, once again being the selfless chum you are, you shout something along the lines of, "Oh-em-jee! Ten points for liking them, buddy pal!"

To which, I must admit I mentally reply, "Nice use of stupid!"

Now I'm not as ignorant as I let on. People spew this selfish nonsense for a reason, and as much as it sounds like an I'm-a-second-grade-loser-that-all-the-bullies-pick-on retort, I think it stems mainly from jealousy. I imagine that the need to reward people in these situations comes from regret. Like I said, you wish you could have used "minutia", but instead of admitting such...I guess weakness?...you try to claim the upper hand by placing yourself in an authoritative position. As if you acknowledging my "great job" puts me intellectually below you. It doesn't. It makes you sound immature and silly.

The same goes for the points scenario. You don't want me or the people around us to think that I like the band more than you do, so you raise yourself up on a point-doling podium of pretentiousness. You think that if you are the one tossing around kudos, it makes you the authority on the subject and therefore better than me for bringing it up in the first place. Well I apologize for trampling so carelessly on your egg-shell ego.

Let me qualify that I don't necessarily think selfishness is all as bad as the reputation people have given it. Your self is important and all that Ayn Rand stuff that everyone scoffs at. But THIS kind of selfish I can't abide. You people do not own rights to the words in my head or the attachments I make to a given product and/or idea. I like to think that 'back in the day', when people shared a common interest or impressed each other with their mediocre intelligence, they'd be like, "Hey, me too!" and flash a genuine thumbs up. Then shut up already and continue being normal people without getting tripped up or self-conscious.

I guess the perfect world is different for all of us.

Ten points for reading this,

   -Sad Blogger

Bleeping Posted by Sad Blogger , 7.3.11 at Monday, March 07, 2011, in

A friend of mine recently created his own blog on the recommendation of an English professor. For the record, she's the same prof that encouraged me to continue believing I'm the superior writer I think I am. You can judge for yourself whether it's working. Anyhow, he made a post the other night that essentially asked the question that I think I was trying to get around to in a post that I wrote a couple years ago.  You can check out his site and find the post if you need proof of how effectively he got the idea across compared to my random desperate flailing and eventual collapse due to laziness (when in doubt, condense!).

Being the antagonizing bastard I am, I felt obligated to comment on his post with my loudmouthed opinion. And being the lazy schlub that I also am, I decided to post a version of that comment here, edited to read like I wrote it especially for you ladies and gents. So here it is:

With regards to profanity in literature, people often like to bring up the objection that “writers should have the vocabulary to make profanity obsolete.”  However, I believe that in order to take that position, you have to believe that there is actually such a thing as a "bad word."

I have to break this news to you, tough...it’s not words’ fault. They’re just letters mushed together. It’s the thought behind the word that gives it meaning. If you feel, for example, that Allen Ginsberg's “Howl” was insubstantial blather, then that’s what it is to you. But each word was connected to an emotion that Ginsberg had felt and that many of his readers had also felt so the words mean far more to them whether they were profane or not.
The words that we call “obscene” are still words that exist in the list of words we can create. As time has passed, they’ve been stuck with the meanings we give them. If not those words, some other words we haven’t invented yet would be our swear words. But being that they are part of our language, if a writer is good enough, he or she could use nothing BUT curse words and still write something amazing.

I think that words shouldn’t be chosen based on the context they fit but that the words create context. There’s no such thing as an appropriate situation to use a certain word, but an infinite string of situations in which the write can choose to implant any words he or she deems appropriate.

With a hearty "fuck you",

  - Sad Blogger

Proper Respect for the Dead Posted by Sad Blogger , 6.3.11 at Sunday, March 06, 2011, in

I had the thought today that, "Chivalry is dead" is a rather common expression. But as much as you hear people slinging this phrase around like inhumanly heavy objects at the Highland Games, any emotion attached to the sentiment lingers no longer than maybe twenty seconds. I suppose that's why it's filed under the cliche column, because it's an empty collection of words that people repeat out of habit. Well sorry, I was trying to come across as insightful.

What I'm trying to get to is that I'd like for the expression to actually carry some meaning. I wish people would back up the things they say with some smidgen of genuine feeling. Some smidgen of passion. They don't need to write and recite a goddamn speech, but just for once, summon some raw emotion and actually say something.

I think, should I grow up to eventually start a family and all that "traditional" banal garbage, I would like to name any pets we end up owning, "Chivalry." That way, whenever one of our cherished family pets died, someone would have to trudge morosely into a room and solemnly announce to the family, "Chivalry is dead." At least then, the words would finally leave someone's lips with some authenticity. That's my wish for this world.

All my hopes and dreams,

- Sad Blogger

Great American Novel Brainstorming Session #2 Posted by Sad Blogger , 2.3.11 at Wednesday, March 02, 2011, in

I decided two seconds ago that this was not actually going to be the slash-wristed, tear-stained turd of an emo rant that I had initially planned to lay down before you. I realize "emo rant" isn't the most original or imaginative name for a long winded inventory of my internal conflicts, but that's what the fuck it was going to be so I may as well not mince words.

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Having elected to give up my furious scribbling for manic typing, I've turned all the lights off and closed the door to create an blog-writingy atmosphere in my room. Even though the sun-on-snow glow from outside penetrates the 30-year-old blanket desperately nailed over my window like it's Ed Norton in American History X. I painted my room brown in the summer and got pissed off at my navy blue curtains, so rape-victim blanket it is.

I flip-flop back and forth between preferring hand writing or typing. With a pencil, you can feel each letter create itself on the paper and there's a sort of intimacy that develops between you and the words. But typing can be equally as satisfying when you get into that tik-tikka-taka-taka-chuh-kah-tik-tik-tik-chika-takka flow and the writing almost feels like playing a piece of music or a video game. It's a coordinated effort that you can feel proud of rather than the effortless curves and angles of hand writing.

Something broken in the walls of this 40-year-old piece of crap townhouse makes a knocking noise every five or so minutes. It's like a constant painful reminder that I'm in here and not doing anything particularly useful. It's also a reminder that I have no money to pay someone with a name tag to make the noise go away. I didn't really need to be reminded.

The cat meows because she's stupid and thinks that if she can meow enough to confuse my memories of having fed her, I will actually get up and feed her again. I yell at her because I'm stupid and think that if I yell enough, she'll understand that I'm on to her game and we can finally agree on a truce. She meows again to underscore my stupidity.

Florence + The Machine wails from my speakers just loud enough so that my mind doesn't get lonely. I think about how hypocritical I am to hate people who claim possession of bands and artists who finally garner some kind of mainstream awareness. Back in "the day" when those obscure artists were unknown and hidden away, as a small community of followers we professed our love for them on forums and wondered "why more people don't listen to these guys!?!!?!?". But then they get a bit of recognition and people say "you should watch this video on YouTube" and we say "lol I own all their albums even that one they released under a different name and also I've heard of them for three years and am a better fan and you didn't even pronounce the name right". We wish it would go back to that intimate mine-all-mine relationship we had before. I wish luck and success to all you up-and-comers, I guess.

I read the other day that the last surviving veteran of WWI died at the age of 110. I think if anyone I knew ever made it past 100, I'd kind of stop caring and probably wouldn't wish them a happy birthday beyond the hundred marker. At that point you've survived a century and aren't really putting an effort into it anymore. I assume it takes a bit of work and dedication to hold on from 80-years-old upward, but surely there must be a peak. If you held on through that 80-100 stretch, any time you log onward is likely just cruise control.

I may end up deciding to change the title of this post later. I'd meant to continue in the direction my first brainstorming session was heading but I got derailed pretty early on. I'll leave it as it is for now as I might be able to extract some of this stuff for viable novel fodder when my mind is clearer.

Particularly sad this week,

- Sad Blogger