I've been clearing out my basement over the past few weeks and I've happened across all sorts of relics from my early childhood. There's this particular feeling that comes over you when you see and feel some toy or poster or book that used to be one of your very few worldly possessions. It's like a muscle memory or something that just pulls you back to the specific moments that your brain held on to and nostalgia washes over you in short bursts.
But the most fascinating antiquities that were stowed away in the dark all these years are the stories and journals entries that my mom saved from my stint in elementary school. So because each time I sign in to type up another of my inspiring blog posts I end up staring at the blinking cursor for twenty minutes, I've decided to share one of those gems of a story here. The following was scrawled across several pages with "Wednesday March 22, 2000" scribbled in the top right corner. It was adorned with the fantastic title: "No Name Story".
I was sitting in my basement watching an adventure show with my friend, Geoff. Instantly I jumped up and said "Geoff, did you ever hear of that 'lost treasure of Quambi'?"
"Yeah, I hear it's full of diamonds and other cool jewels." he replied.
"Let's go to the Quambi jungle and see if we can find it!" I said.
We agreed to meet at the dock the next day to take a boat to the jungle. The next morning found Geoff and I taking a speedboat out to the island. As we neared the shore, Geoff and I both cried out in unison, "This place is amazing!"
There were giant mountains with waterfalls running down on all sides, different colored flowers popping out in different places, all kinds of birds and animals. I slipped my camera out of my pocket and started shooting pictures of everything and in no time I had used up all the film. Soon we were on shore and looking for somewhere to stay, like a cave or...did I say cave? Well I just spotted one! "Geoff, see that cave over there?" I asked.
"Yeah, let's try it out," he replied.
As we got closer I saw two red circles glowing from inside...no, four red circles. As we got even closer I noticed that those "circles" weren't circles, they were eyes, the glowing red eyes of werewolves!
"Run!" I gasped.
We ran as fast as we could until we came to a space between two cliffs.
"There's no way out!" Geoff wailed.
"Yes there is," I replied.
Hanging over the space was a vine. I told Geoff to grab an and swing across. Geoff looked at the vine and then at me.
"I can't do it," Geoff whined.
"Fine, hold onto me and I'll swing across," I grumbled.
As we swung across, I heard two desperate howls and then a 'thump' as the two werewolves hit the ground.
"Whew!" I exclaimed as we reached the other side.
We kept walking for a bit longer until we came to a lake.
"How about we take a short swim?" Geoff suggested.
"Sure," I replied.
As I was starting to take off my shirt I heard sort of a rattling sound. I asked, 'Do you hear that, Geoff?"
"Probably just the wind," he replied.
"Whatever you say," I agreed.
Soon we were having fun racing each other, jumping off cliff ledges and zooming down tiny waterfalls. Then we got bored and decided to head on. As we were getting dressed I heard that rattling sound again. "I hear that rattling sound again," I commented, "I'm going to see what it is."
As I got closer I saw two beady little eyes and a tail, a tail that took up...the whole body. Wait a minute, I thought, oh-no! "SNAKE!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
As the snake darted toward me, Geoff came through the bushes and said "Maybe it's just hungry."
"Oh yeah, right." I said calming down.
We walked around the jungle looking for berries or nuts, until we came to a giant banana tree.
"Climb up it, and get a bunch of bananas," I told Geoff.
"Okay," he agreed.
When he got down we all had two bananas. Even the snake. Then we pressed on to the seek the treasure. Every night we got to know the snake even better, we even named it Hiss. One day Hiss saved my life: we were walking around, and I was walking backwards talking to Geoff about what we would do the next day.
"So Geoff, what do you want to do tomor...HELP!" I screamed as I suddenly fell backward into a pit of slimy stuff. Quicksand.
Quickly, Hiss slithered up a tree and hung on a branch so I could hold on and then the pulled me up. As I was climbing off the branch, Geoff said "That was amazing!" "But how are we going to get across?" He continued.
"Easy. The same way we escaped from the werewolves," I replied.
Soon we were on the other side with some help from Hiss. We found a place to sleep and went to sleep. The next morning I was awakened by the sound of a drum "Brummmm, brummmm!"
"What's that?" I asked.
"Sound like the Stampede Band," he replied. [here i have drawn an arrow pointing to a messy "that means Geoff"]
At that moment I found out what it was. It was a tribe of evil natives, and they were coming striaght for us! Then I felt a bang on my head and then I was knocked out cold.
I came-to a few hours after that, to find myself tied to a pole stuck in the ground. Suddenly I remember about Geoff and Hiss. "Geoff, Hiss, are you there?" I whispered.
I waited for a few seconds and then heard a rattling sound. It was Hiss. Next I saw him come out of the shrubbery. As he was biting away the ropes bound around my wrists and ankles I heard Geoff moan and saw him open his eyes. Then I heard footsteps. "Hurry up, Hiss!" I urged.
He finished quickly and that gave me enough time to undo Geoff's ropes and buzz off. We found our way to a lake to take a swim. At the lake was a waterfall and I found a tunnel beyond it that led to a cave that was filled with moss. I was awe-stricken. In that cave, was the "LOST TREASURE OF QUAMBI!"
"We found it at last!" I shouted with glee.
We found our way to the boat, threw the treasure inside and headed home.
When I got home the next day I quickly ran down to the basement to phone Geoff, but I couldn't make it. I was so exhausted that I had to have a snooze. So I did.
THE END. zzzzzzZZZZZZ!
As you can see, I was a shadow in my childhood of the brilliant tour de force I would grow up to be. Obviously my pacing left a fair amount to be desired, but it still does so we'll call that part of my style. Back then, my characters blinked through time inexplicably and now I get angry and wedge in a hasty conclusion for the sake of closure. And sure, I felt a little too obligated to describe who said what and how they said it. But goddamn do I wish I could remember the old school, "The next morning found us" transition. So here's that rushed outro I was talking about. Something about finding my inner child and learning from my youthful ambition. Yeah.
Fearing I never actually improved,
-Sad Blogger
Episode 2 - A Bucket of Beeps
11 years ago