One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with God. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to God. When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned God about it:
"Hey God, so I've been looking at all these footprints here and I'm a little confused. When I signed up for this whole dealio, I was under the impression that you were supposed to be there like ALL the time. So how come now I'm looking at the footprints and at the lowest and most difficult points in my life, there's only one set of footprints? You were supposed to be there for me."
And God replied:
"Well...that was when I left to take care of the OTHER FUCKING SIX BILLION PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!! You selfish prick. Do you realize how many people die in a day? How many little kids scrape their knees? How many divorces go down? All the rape and the adultery and lying and cheating and murder and jaywalking and running red lights and homosexual relationships and masturbation and meat-eating and antisemitic jokes??? DO YOU REALIZE HOW MANY PEOPLE PRAY FOR ALL THAT CRAP? Like I'm going to wait on you hand and foot and carry your sorry ass around all the time. It's not just about you, Jeff. This thing is a two-way road, got it? If you're going to spring for the faith thing, you gotta do half the work. Yup, sorry you're just figuring it out, Dumbass. Now comb your hair and suck it up. Peace."
A little bit of insight,
- Sad Blogger
Episode 2 - A Bucket of Beeps
11 years ago