So, enamored with my cunning linguistics as you are, you take it upon yourself to toss me a little doggy treat for so obviously going out of my way to be impressive (let me note here that it's actually -not- impressive at all). Yes, for gracing the world with that lexical delicacy, you congratulate me with a quaint-yet-enthusiastic, "Nice use of 'minutia'!"
To which, I must admit I mentally reply, "Nice use of stupid!"
I honestly don't require your validation, thank you. I actually have an unnecessarily strong sense of self esteem. In fact, I would personally argue that if my ego were stroked any more than I already stroke it, it would ejaculate.
A similar trend I've noticed is the awarding of points when somebody expresses an interest in a movie or a book or a band or a model of car or a brand of shoe or a specific flight number that leaves for Laos on April 23rd. Since the last example was so much fun, I'll indulge you with another. Let's say this time that we were carrying on pleasantly about the ever-broadening universe of popular music. Let's also say I mentioned this rad new album I just downloaded and you realize you're -totally- a fan of that band! So, once again being the selfless chum you are, you shout something along the lines of, "Oh-em-jee! Ten points for liking them, buddy pal!"
To which, I must admit I mentally reply, "Nice use of stupid!"
Now I'm not as ignorant as I let on. People spew this selfish nonsense for a reason, and as much as it sounds like an I'm-a-second-grade-loser-that-all-the-bullies-pick-on retort, I think it stems mainly from jealousy. I imagine that the need to reward people in these situations comes from regret. Like I said, you wish you could have used "minutia", but instead of admitting such...I guess weakness?...you try to claim the upper hand by placing yourself in an authoritative position. As if you acknowledging my "great job" puts me intellectually below you. It doesn't. It makes you sound immature and silly.
The same goes for the points scenario. You don't want me or the people around us to think that I like the band more than you do, so you raise yourself up on a point-doling podium of pretentiousness. You think that if you are the one tossing around kudos, it makes you the authority on the subject and therefore better than me for bringing it up in the first place. Well I apologize for trampling so carelessly on your egg-shell ego.
Let me qualify that I don't necessarily think selfishness is all as bad as the reputation people have given it. Your self is important and all that Ayn Rand stuff that everyone scoffs at. But THIS kind of selfish I can't abide. You people do not own rights to the words in my head or the attachments I make to a given product and/or idea. I like to think that 'back in the day', when people shared a common interest or impressed each other with their mediocre intelligence, they'd be like, "Hey, me too!" and flash a genuine thumbs up. Then shut up already and continue being normal people without getting tripped up or self-conscious.
I guess the perfect world is different for all of us.
Ten points for reading this,
-Sad Blogger
