This Is Kind Of A Funny Story Posted by Happy Blogger , 14.8.11 at Sunday, August 14, 2011, in

I'm going to keep this one brief.

I know that working in the theater business, you are likely to run into to people, people perhaps that you didn't really want to run into.

However. It is your job. You are paid to do this. So personal feelings aside, and I answer the phone as usual.

Typically a good reservation can be done in 3-5 minutes, but some days you get the people who really REALLY enjoy just talking.

This particular phone conversation went on for atleast 15 minutes...however the circumstances of the conversation made it seem like an eternity. I ask for their phone number (per usual) to pull up their file, and I realize that this person has the same last name of my ex.
Just because they have the same last name doesn't mean that it's his mom, it could be
just someone with the same last name, that happens, ya know!?
She tells me her son would really enjoy all the music of the play.
Okay, as far as I last knew, he did like this music, however maybe it's a possibility it's
not him...
She tells me she wants to bring her son for an early birthday present
Okay, sooo now her sons birthday happens to be the same month, turning
the age he is supposed to be turning...

WARNING: Now, this is when things get a little awkward, I know realized I was speaking to my ex's mother, but I didn't want to tell her or anything because I was at work, doing my job, and I kept figuring that the conversation would end, like it was supposed to 10 minutes ago.

She asks me about the bar next to the theater, she wants to know if there is a dance floor- her son LOVES to dance (shit) . I tell her I'm not old enough to be in the bar, so I don't know all that much about it. She then goes to tell me that I should meet her son, he's really a nice, cute boy. (Ummm, been there, done that, got the t-shirt) **insert awkward/nervous laughter here** She then asks about what high school I went to. (Shit, why didn't I lie). Then she asks if I had any older siblings that went there/ and their last name. ( Shit, am I really telling her my sisters name). THEN she asks to confirm my name again (Yes, you have just been talking to your sons ex girlfriend on the phone for the last 15 minutes, tried to set me up with him, and now are realizing...) "OOooh, Happy Blogger?- Bye"

Conversation didn't last all that much longer.
Cool.

Oh, did I mention that I work the doors the night that they were coming to the show?
Yeah...
Thank God, I was busy with another customer when they came through.
However, I did have to walk in last customer into our theater and the end, and I had to walk right past their table. I'll be honest, the revenge push up bra I bought the day before made me feel really good about myself. And I walked away all self righteous.

The end.

Oh, and for those who care, there's a 40% off all bra's at Aerie.
Definitely worth investing.
-Happy Blogger

The Old Colossus Posted by Sad Blogger , 13.8.11 at Saturday, August 13, 2011, in

Well hello there. It's only been ages since we've made a peep, eh? I swear I think about you, even though there's only like one or two of you, you matter to me. The thing is I don't want to submit you to all the terrible ideas I've had for posts over the course of the summer so far. I have a travel blog to go through and edit and pretty-up for you and maybe that will be nice some day. But apart from that, the ol' inspiration (remember that stuff?) is nowhere to be found.

However, I had kind of a cool idea for an angry poem today. I wanted it to be long and epic and full of rage. I wanted it to articulate a kind of creative fury through the use of clever punchlines. What I ended up doing was sort of mashing together some awkward rhymes and giving it a re-read and bursting with shocked laughter at how hateful it was. It doesn't convey any sort of feelings that I actually have, I just wanted to remodel Emma Lazarus' The New Colossus. But as you can see, it managed to contort itself into something my great grandfather, raised in small town Texas at the turn of the century, would probably have beamed at. Have a look-see:

you know what
take back your tired your poor your huddled masses
your fat asses and assholes your cops and robbers maggots and tadpoles
the wretched refuse junkies and users domestic abusers
wretcheder and refuser
there's enough teeming on our own shores
take them back
we don't need yours

So ya, not long at all, hardly clever (To be honest, I'm pretty proud of the concept and I insist on its brilliance), and just off the rails in terms of hate. Not anger, hatred.

Anyhow, it is what it is. Of all the things I could have posted after such a lengthy sabbatical, it's not quite up to the standards I feel I've established for myself but now I'm rambling to an degree even more embarrassing than usual. So take it or leave and a bunch of other dismissive cliches. I hope I can pop in to give you something far more glorious in the near future.

Might have to change my name,

   - Sad Blogger