i want every inch
a million lovely pieces
exquisite, beaming
Episode 2 - A Bucket of Beeps
11 years ago
Things I'm Thinking Today
Imagine scientists discover that there are latent characteristics ingrained in human DNA that based on sonic microsignatures embedded in common first names, would be triggered slowly over time until they manifested as personality traits towards the end of puberty. So like the DNA would react to the repeated usage of a specific name for a person and cause specific character quirks. Given that reality, would certain names be outlawed due to the violent or psychotic tendencies they would cause in people? Movie idea: a woman struggles to protect an Icelandic boy named Todd (a name identified as infecting recipients with kleptomania) who has somehow out-evolved his namesake. Hunted by the Nafn Logreglu, they attempt to flee the country and escape to Canada, where everybody knows that a name is just a name.
Goosebumps should be actual geese that sprout from your pores. They would provide a little bit of comic relief in tense moments, but would be a massive inconvenience when you were actually trying to get into those awe-inspiring moments. Then the goose roundup brigade would have to sweep through and everyone would be slightly miffed.
I want to fill my shower with dirt and a couple small patio tiles and plant a smattering of different grasses and weeds in there so that every time I take a shower, I feel like I'm in a fantastical jungle. I'll use environmentally friendly shampoo to protect my shower weeds and use only cold water so it's actually like being a mountain man. And maybe I'll bury some worms and beetles in the dirt so they can skitter and squirm over my feet while I sing booming renditions of Irish drinking songs and old timey gravedigger hymns.
I imagine it's something everybody is going to be doing, but I want to have a the-night-before-the-end-of-the-world party on December 20. There will be giving of small gifts just in case we miss Christmas and we'll wear dumb paper hats and sing Auld Lang Syne just in case we miss New Years Eve. And everyone will be very happy and very sad at the same time because they'll be together and imagining what it would be like to never see each other again. And they will be rowdy because it's a party and they will be quiet because they are reflecting. And there will be confessions and revelations and new love and heartbreak...tears and smiles and songs and hugging endlessly. And the next morning, everyone will wake up and say that they knew nothing was going to happen the whole time but their friendships will be amazing because they were together and honest and real for the first time in their lives. Because it takes the end of the world for us to realize what people are worth.
My roommates got a new barbecue that they want to break in this Friday and I have nobody to invite to be the friends that I invited to the BBQ. I need to get me some friends. How does one acquire friends? This shit was so easy in elementary school.
I got yelled at for forty consecutive minutes last week because I've been understocking the stationary in my building and now we're going to be way over budget this month because we have to order a bunch of stuff so we can overstock all the floors to make up for the lower stocks of stationary last month. When I asked if it was money that was going to be spent anyway, I was told that it's better to spread the spending out over time so that we don't run through all the money at once and make it look like we're over spending. Motherfucker...that's what I was doing! By keeping just enough on the shelves, the client has what they need and I can tend to it as needed, and we order smaller amounts of stationary over time. But here I am being told that I'm providing poor customer service and putting everybody else's jobs at risk. I was literally told that if I didn't keep the shelves overstocked, the entire company would rate poorly on end of the year surveys and everybody would lose their jobs. That falls on me? Fuck your mother if you can find her.
Got a little bitter there at the end...sorry,
Sad Blogger
Goosebumps should be actual geese that sprout from your pores. They would provide a little bit of comic relief in tense moments, but would be a massive inconvenience when you were actually trying to get into those awe-inspiring moments. Then the goose roundup brigade would have to sweep through and everyone would be slightly miffed.
I want to fill my shower with dirt and a couple small patio tiles and plant a smattering of different grasses and weeds in there so that every time I take a shower, I feel like I'm in a fantastical jungle. I'll use environmentally friendly shampoo to protect my shower weeds and use only cold water so it's actually like being a mountain man. And maybe I'll bury some worms and beetles in the dirt so they can skitter and squirm over my feet while I sing booming renditions of Irish drinking songs and old timey gravedigger hymns.
I imagine it's something everybody is going to be doing, but I want to have a the-night-before-the-end-of-the-world party on December 20. There will be giving of small gifts just in case we miss Christmas and we'll wear dumb paper hats and sing Auld Lang Syne just in case we miss New Years Eve. And everyone will be very happy and very sad at the same time because they'll be together and imagining what it would be like to never see each other again. And they will be rowdy because it's a party and they will be quiet because they are reflecting. And there will be confessions and revelations and new love and heartbreak...tears and smiles and songs and hugging endlessly. And the next morning, everyone will wake up and say that they knew nothing was going to happen the whole time but their friendships will be amazing because they were together and honest and real for the first time in their lives. Because it takes the end of the world for us to realize what people are worth.
My roommates got a new barbecue that they want to break in this Friday and I have nobody to invite to be the friends that I invited to the BBQ. I need to get me some friends. How does one acquire friends? This shit was so easy in elementary school.
I got yelled at for forty consecutive minutes last week because I've been understocking the stationary in my building and now we're going to be way over budget this month because we have to order a bunch of stuff so we can overstock all the floors to make up for the lower stocks of stationary last month. When I asked if it was money that was going to be spent anyway, I was told that it's better to spread the spending out over time so that we don't run through all the money at once and make it look like we're over spending. Motherfucker...that's what I was doing! By keeping just enough on the shelves, the client has what they need and I can tend to it as needed, and we order smaller amounts of stationary over time. But here I am being told that I'm providing poor customer service and putting everybody else's jobs at risk. I was literally told that if I didn't keep the shelves overstocked, the entire company would rate poorly on end of the year surveys and everybody would lose their jobs. That falls on me? Fuck your mother if you can find her.
Got a little bitter there at the end...sorry,
Sad Blogger
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