Opening Up: Session 1 Posted by Sad Blogger , 6.4.11 at Wednesday, April 06, 2011, in Labels: learning, vulnerability, vulnerable, writing

I have to make an unfortunate confession. The last two posts I've made were actually plagiarized. Oh my god, yes I know. The good news is they were plagiarized from myself. The bad news is that it indicates how uninspired I've been when it comes to my writing. Sure, content-wise they might still be as entertaining as they were when I posted them to Facebook close to two years ago. Sure, I may have added commentary or switched some words or even made some spelling corrections. The point, though, is that as much as I wanted to create something new and intriguing, I was more interested in the attention I might earn from a couple of anonymous readers and instead chose to recycle some crap I hammered out when I was still in high school. Technically one was from much further back.

I recently dropped in on my writing professor from last semester and our conversation briefly touched upon my ability as a writer and the changes I would have to make to become better. I was initially insulted when she suggested I hadn't learned anything from her class, but now I'm sort of bent on proving her wrong. I guess I'm one of those negative reinforcement types. I need to know I failed in order to want to try? When I was still in the class, she'd told me how much she wanted me to broaden my writing and try to grow beyond the style that I consistently sink back into. She still assures me that my style is excellent and understands that I stick to it because I know it will be successful. But I know that a great writer should be able to adapt to other styles.

The piece of advice she gave me that stood out the most was that I need to be more vulnerable. I don't know if admitting this counts as being vulnerable but here we go. I don't actually know what she meant. I looked up how to be vulnerable on Google and this is what I got:

• Acknowledge your feelings. Denying what we feel only fuels our fear of being vulnerable. 
• Let go of the fear of being vulnerable. 
• Know, feel and believe that whatever happens, even if we do get hurt, that we can not only handle it but that we will also get through it. 
• Misery loves company. So we should be around people who encourages us and allows us to feel good about ourselves. If we associate with people who are also fearful and are not being proactive in developing themselves, we will not grow out of our fears. 
• Accept and love ourselves for who we are and seek validation from within. 
• Let go and trust ourselves. That is all we need to do to be vulnerable. 

Obviously my initial reaction is that this mush is utter bullshit. To my knowledge, I have never ignored or denied my feelings. In my opinion, I'm an exceedingly open and emotive individual. I wear everything on my sleeve and typically pride myself on how quick I am to act on how I feel. I also don't believe that I fear getting hurt. In fact, when it comes to "sadness", I think that more often than not, I tend to thrive in misery. The last two points are completely useless as there's nobody on this planet that I love or trust more than myself.

So I continue to wander through this life without a clue as to how I can be more vulnerable. Share my story? Reveal my true feelings? Is opening up seriously all it will take? I suppose that's what this experience will be about.

But you didn't really expect to get the whole dish now, did you? I had to give you a little taste so you would come back and join me on this journey. Yes, "journey". I'm trying to stretch outside my style, remember?



Finally getting to the sad,
     -Sad Blogger